Wednesday, June 24, 2015

When You Don’t Love It Right Away

I attended WEPO my freshman year in 2011, which now sounds like forever ago.  I, like all of you, was so excited to start college and attend Penn State in the fall.  I had my new bedding, room decorations, window fan, and rainboots!  I moved in that Wednesday before school started just like all of you, and found myself saying goodbye to my parents at the Atherton Hotel and hello to a room full of strangers.  Even still I was ready for a change, ready to start college.  I met so many new people and learned so new things in those three days at WEPO, and returned home to my dorm room exhausted and excited to catch up on some sleep!  When the dust settled after WEPO and the newness of syllabus week faded, I found myself suddenly not sure of my decision to come to Penn State.  I had friends and I was doing fine in my classes; I wasn’t homesick, I just wasn’t sure if Penn State was the right fit for me.  

Dare I say, I did not love Penn State right away?  For the majority of my first semester, I found myself battling the idea of switching schools.  I looked up other colleges and their application deadlines.  I called home crying several times debating whether or not I should stay at Penn State.  Then something crazy happened: after all that searching, worrying, and crying, I began loving Penn State.  I cannot pinpoint an exact time or event that changed my opinion, it just did.  I just needed time to get used to it.  College is a huge change and everyone struggles with something, whether it be homesickness, roommates, coursework, making friends, time management, or managing stress; just like everything else, your college experience won’t be “perfect.”  You are going to fumble and fail, but you are also going to succeed and grow so much in these next four, maybe five (like me) years.  

What I am saying is that it is okay to not love something right away.  I am in love with this school.  I have the very best friends and roommates.  I am receiving an incredible education in architectural engineering.  I am obsessed with my major and all things construction management.  I have had three amazing internships in Washington, DC, Baltimore, MD, and San Francisco, CA.  I have traveled to Roatan, Honduras with my class to build a solar array during spring break.  I have been a part of five WEPOs.  I love everything about Penn State, and even after five years, I am not ready to leave it, but I did not love it at first.  So give Penn State a chance to grow on you.  If it is not love at first sight, give yourself a chance to get used to it.  

In my five years, I have learned a whole lot about myself.  Most importantly I have learned that I am good at making a change, but I am not so good at liking that change, at least not at first.  I like feeling like I have control of situations; I like knowing what I am doing, but when you make a change, everything is going to be different and new.  For example, I have hated the first week of every internship I have had, but I have learned over the years that it is not that I hate the internship, but that I hate feeling out of place.  Now I know that I need to give myself a chance to get used to change.  I probably will not like it right away because I never do, but in time, I will.  College is a big change, it took me three months to start feeling like I had a place at Penn State.  Give yourself time and don’t feel like you are the only one feeling that way.  You will find your place here at Penn State, and it will shape you into the incredible person you will become.  

“When we stood at childhood's gate. Shapeless in the hands of fate. Thou didst mold us, dear old State.” -- Penn State Alma Mater


Kenna Markel is a fifth year majoring in Architectural Engineering, and is the Lead Rover for WEPO’15!

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