Monday, August 15, 2016

Leaving the Nest

I remember how excited I was to leave for college for the first time last fall. I was the only one out of all my friends  who was not nervous or afraid to leave home. I have always been pretty independent, so I was not worried about being able to take care of myself. Throughout my last week at home, I said my goodbyes, and not once did I  cry or become emotional. I was so excited to live on my own and join the Penn State community. So my parents and I packed up the car on August 19, 2015 and left home to start the next chapter of my life.



The only time I teared up was when I said my goodbyes to my parents before I left them for WEPO, but the tears cleared quickly as I met my mentors and other team members.

All was great. I was fine. I had a fantastic time at WEPO and thought nothing of the fact that I would not go home for weeks. The point I am trying to make is that I was not prepared for the roller coaster ride that I just boarded.

The first week of school was really easy, and I thought Wow! Okay this whole college thing won’t be that bad. (I did not realize there is this thing called syllabus week that was notoriously easy.) Week two of school hit me like a truck. I was so stressed. I looked at my syllabi and became overwhelmed with the amount of work I had. This is around the time that I cried for the first time. Throughout the semester, I cried for a number of reasons: the work load, deciding what to do in my free time, and, most of all, missing home. I was so upset that I barely ate. I was sick all the time. Clearly, I was not taking care of myself.

I did not want to let my parents and family know that I was having such a hard time at school, so I hid it from them. My mom was so emotional about me leaving for school, so I did not want to upset her more. I never complained to them about my work load, never told them I was missing home, and never cried when I was on the phone with them (I saved the crying for when we hung up). I eventually had to tell my parents that I was having a difficult time adjusting to school when I got so sick that I had to be admitted to the hospital just a few weeks before first semeseter finals.

Finally, I told my parents about everything I had dealt with at school, and telling them was the absolutely best thing I could have done. Talking to them made me feel better because I finally got all of my feelings off my chest. The second semester was not perfect, but it was so much better than the first semester. I started eating healthy and going to the gym, so I felt better physically, and I did not get sick once more. Talking to my parents about what was stressing me out throughout the semester helped me mentally, and I even saw a big increase in my grades.



My first semester was quite the learning experience, so I want to share what I learned with you.

1.     DO NOT BE AFRAID TO MISS HOME! I felt like I was the only one who missed my family, friends and my own house. I saw pictures of my friends from back home on social media having a great time at school all while I was crying in my dorm. Everyone misses home once in a while. You are not alone!

2.     CALL YOUR FAMILY AND DO NOT HOLD BACK! Whether it is your parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, brother, sister, or a friend, you have someone who helped you get to Penn State, and all they want is to see you happy. Even if it means calling that person at 4:00 A.M. to crying about the math 141 exam you are convinced you are going to fail. Call them. Do it. You need to vent and let it out sometimes because if you keep it all in, your grades and health will be affected.



3.     REMEMBER: IT GETS BETTER! College is hard. You are going to have tough days. But just remember that no matter how bad it is, everything will work out in the end. My first semester was the hardest 16 weeks of my life, and I was worried that all five years of college would be that difficult, but I kept telling myself that no matter how difficult everything got, I know I want to be an architectural engineer, so I pushed through. Luckily, I stuck with it because now I cannot wait to head back to school this fall.



Leaving home for the first time and entering such a different environment will be hard. Make sure you take care of yourself and do what is best for you. And definitely call home and let your family and friends help you!

To sum it up: You are going to be fine! Enjoy your new found independence and use it wisely!

Rachel Coyle is a sophomore studying Architectural Engineering and is an Envoy for WEPO ’16!

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