Friday, August 8, 2014

Balancing College Friends and High School Friends

Well ladies it’s almost here! The grad parties are coming to an end, the boxes are filling up around your bedroom, and the tearful goodbyes to friends and family are just beginning. As you are getting ready to start your AMAZING journey at Penn State, you might be worried about leaving behind some loved ones. But don’t worry!! I’ve compiled some helpful hints on how to balance all of your new WEPO friends ;) and the friends you have from back at home.

I know my biggest fear coming in as a freshman was making new friends! Now, I knew some people from my high school were also coming to Penn State, but I definitely wanted to branch out and meet new people. What I wasn’t expecting was just how difficult it would be to keep in touch with my friends from back home. It became hard to find the time to catch up with people that I was used to talking to everyday. Because, when you come to a school as big as Penn State, you have the opportunity to meet so many new people (close to 44,000 of them) and it’s easy to fall into a routine with these new friends and almost forget about those that are still back home without even meaning too. But before you panic, listen to some of my ideas on how to stay in touch. Following some of these may make it a lot easier to keep in touch even with friends going to school across the country!

Tip 1: Once everyone has their schedules, trying setting time aside each week to catch up. Maybe even put it on your calendar like another class. From personal experience, this has been the best way to catch up with everyone at the same time. For example, there are five of us that have been close since kindergarten and we all go to different schools across the country, one as far away as Georgia. Since this is the first time we are in separate schools, we were so worried about losing touch with one another. So, we decided to plan into our schedules at least one hour a week where we would all be available to talk. Now of course we would talk throughout the week, but this one hour was a time when all five of us stopped everything and got caught up with each other’s lives. It has worked successfully for 3 years now. It does take effort to make sure that I am available to talk every week, but it’s that conscious effort that has kept our friendships so strong!! Also, it’s good practice to try to put away your phone when you are with friends. If you are constantly texting your friends from home, when you are with your new Penn State friends, it might send the message that you are uninterested in the conversation, and therefore, the friendship. Having this set time a week will allow you to catch up with your friends from home, while not interfering with time you set aside to see your new friends.

Tip 2: Definitely utilize GroupMe or some sort of group messaging program! It’s awesome being able to communicate with all five of them at once. This way everyone can be on the same page with what’s going on with each other. It’s also a good idea to try to Skype one another from time to time. Even if it’s the occasional Facetime, it’s always nice to see each other’s face. Snapchat is also a nice option as well. Using these programs is a great way to introduce your new friends to your old friends. I’m sure because of all the stories you’re telling one about the other and visa verse, their names have come up and it’ll be a great way to put a face with a name.

Tip 3: One of my friends loves being traditional, and sends me postcards and letters from time to time. Even though we talk on a weekly basis, this little personal touch always brightens my day. It might be worth taking some time to collect your friends’ addresses and stamps before you leave for school. I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that I love the feeling of getting some snail mail! Postcards are always fun! My friend from Georgia would try to pick up a postcard at every college she ran at during cross country season. This was a great way for me to see where she had been. They were always so beautiful and she would fill me in on all of her races. I also was able to show my new friends these postcards as well and it became something they looked forward to seeing. Along this same line, it’s always fun to send each other small packages. Nothing too expensive! I know for Valentine’s Day I sent each of them a small package with some candy and a homemade card! Or when I was going through a tough week with exams, my friend sent me a study care package! It was so thoughtful and really picked me up!

Tip 4: Another thing that becomes hard to remember once you get to college is everyone’s birthdays! Days start to fly by once school begins, and sometimes dates and birthdays seem to creep up on you without you even knowing it. So what I did was I made a list of everyone I wanted to remember to send a card to and I made sure I put a reminder in my phone about a week before. This gave me enough time to get a card and something small in the mail in plenty of time. Facebook is helpful in reminding you the day of, but if you wanted to send a card, it’s a little late then, this way I had a whole week to figure out what I wanted to send and it would arrive on time. It’s the little things that are going to make the difference in keeping your friendships alive even if you’re not around the person all the time.  

Tip 5: I also recommend scheduling dates ahead of time over break to get together. I know my first Thanksgiving break I wanted to see so many people, but between family events and some miscommunication, I only saw a fraction of those friends. When I planned specific dates out with people prior to winter break, I was able to see a lot more people! You could also try planning a weekend trip to one another’s colleges! It’s always really fun to see other colleges and meet your friends’ friends. It can even be a lot of fun to take some of your new friends with you! A fun little road trip so that everyone can get introduced is an excellent way to come full circle and link old and new!

Hopefully you find these tips helpful!  It’s always great to meet new friends, but just remember to keep in touch with your friends from home as well. One thing to keep in mind is not to compare new and old. What I mean is, if you are with your new friends from Penn State, don’t constantly talk about your friends from home and vice versa. It might make either party feel as though you don’t value their friendship. It’s natural to talk about stories and events that have happened, but be mindful of how it sounds.

Hope everyone enjoys there freshman year!

Sam Alexander is a senior in Chemical Engineering, and she is a Mentor for WEPO '14!  

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