Team E's Declassified School Survival Guide

In a university full of new experiences, insane homework, and gross bathrooms, Molly Sizemore, that's me, and my two Team E teammates try to do the impossible: create a guide that will help you survive Penn State.

** Results will vary **

Hey there, so you’ve made it this far. Congrats! Take a second to breathe.

Let’s get down to business— my business— as friend group mom. Now I know what you’re thinking: why does everyone need to be a friend group mom? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose if everyone is the mom? No. I guarantee your new best friend from WEPO is going to forget something and you’re going to have it because you read this silly, little blog post!

Boom. Now you’re a hero. Time to break it down for surviving dorm life and beyond!

Tip #25: Don’t forget your Band-Aids

         Yeah, maybe you got this already, but you’d be surprised how much you really need these. If you’re like me, you run into things. HELLO DOORKNOB.

Amazing, now you’re prepared! These are also nice for when you’re walking to those classes rocking your new kicks, but then those suckers fight back. You end up with a blister in the middle of Osmond (a million miles from East we’re talking), but no worries, fast relief!

Tip #56: Pack extra toothbrushes

         Everyone loves a good, ol’ toothbrush… until it falls on the communal bathroom floor. Lovely, amiright? Back those puppies up. Enough said.

Tip #43: Glory to the gum

         If you’re unlucky, you hit those 8 am’s and life takes off. Sometimes you get out of bed at 7:50 and you gotta prioritize your morning routine. Maybe toothbrushing doesn’t make that list. No judgment. All-nighters can also happen unplanned, so gum is nifty for that too.

Tip #26: Tie the hair up when in the lab

         I started my first year with plenty of hair ties, and they like to walk off, especially in Chem Lab. Keep them close. Maybe make some friends through bartering (a piece of gum may be worth one of these gizmos).

Tip #84: Keep yo paws clean

         Hand sanitizer is a necessity. You and 40,000 of your new PSU family have all touched those Willard doorknobs. Cringy, right? Bath and Body Works makes this one easy. Invest and be healthy.

 Tip #12: Winter is a thing that exists in State College

         If you hear me hollering in the winter it will be about one of two things: the State College Christmas tree has finally been lit or my hands are drier than the Sahara desert. Good thing I carry my handy lotion everywhere I go. In other words, I only really yell outside when winter break is right around the corner, and you shouldn’t be concerned. Just come celebrate the snow with me.

Tip #3 Save yourself the headache

         Aches and pains are a real pain (ha, I’m funny)! I keep a mini bottle of ibuprofen or Advil in my backpack for those days when my body really isn’t feeling it.

Tip #127 Cooperate with Mother Nature

         You’ve had the talk, you know the details. Life happens and you gotta be prepared for it! I keep a tiny cosmetic bag in my backpack filled with feminine supplies not only for me, but for when my fellow women get caught by surprise. Be someone’s new best friend and help a sister out.

Tip #345 Stick with It!

         This tip applies in more ways than one, but post-it notes are amazing creatures that allow you to bookmark, note, list, fold, etc. The possibilities are endless! I would die without my post-its.

Tip #67 Pick your friends, not your teeth

         It’s always embarrassing and annoying to have stuff in your teeth. That’s why I invested in a nice plastic container to hold them in my backpack when I’m on the go. They’re quite handy with that Fiddlehead salad!

Tip #90 Who said Bob could be the only builder?

         My tool kit has been my savior— it was $20 at Walmart, so I’m basically a qualified mechanic now. These pandora boxes come with everything you need to fix whatever you broke. Maybe the doorknob you ran into earlier needs fixed, you now have this in the bag. (Seriously just contact the amazing people at fixit.psu.edu for things like that, they’ll question your sanity for a hot second and then they’ll proceed to repair your life)

Tip #409 Be the engineer that improves the battery life on our phones

         Until you actually are doing that with your life, do yourself the favor and carry an extra phone charger and/or mobile charger. You’ll thank me later when you’re stuck in Kunkle for the night at the outlet-less table.

Tip #626 Keep a custody pencil

         I’m the person that uses the same two pencils for years on end, and that system works great for me. Replace the lead and move on with your beautiful life. Unfortunately, not everyone lives by the same philosophies and puts sentimental value to the pencil they’ve had since sophomore year of high school (we’ve been through a lot 😉). That’s okay, because now you got smarter: you have a backup-backup pencil. You know what this pencil is good for? Sharing. Sharing is caring, after all. Use this pencil as your lender pencil and make sure you don’t lose it like Katie lost mine.

Now that you have an entire encyclopedia of tips, I’m sure I could add a billion more, but I’ll spare you your eyes. If you forget something, Walmart is conveniently located a mile or so up North Atherton, or I may even have what you need. This has been my addition to Team E’s declassified school survival guide. Good luck out there!

By: Molly Sizemore (Mentor Team E)